Walking Through Grief: Embracing the Gospel Turn

Grief is a unique and powerful experience. It arrives unexpectedly, influencing our mental and emotional states, our physical health, digestion, and even our sense of self.

It can strike with the force of a freight train, or quietly slip into our bedrooms, disrupting our dreams and invading our imaginations with nightmares. Grief can awaken past trauma or create new wounds entirely.

Grief often makes us act irrationally. It might push us to spontaneously board a plane, retreating into self-imposed exile, or leave us immobilized, frozen in place.

There’s no timeline for grief—no expiration date. It isn’t something we conquer or leave behind; rather, it transforms us from the inside out. Grief demands expression, whether or not we feel ready.

When grief goes unreleased, danger arises. We find ourselves in cycles of fight, flight, or freeze. Suppressed grief becomes embedded in our physiology, potentially manifesting as hypervigilance, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, eating disorders, and more. Our bodies demand release. Our spirits long for permission to lament, to cry out, "It's not fair!"

Friends, lament is deeply necessary. The Psalms are full of it—expressions of despair, grief, and even rage.

Biblical counseling introduces a concept known as the "Gospel Turn," rooted in Genesis 3 and exemplified throughout the Psalms. We are invited to freely pour out our grief, despair, and anger at life's injustices to a God who hears and understands. We have permission to share openly with a God who already knows our innermost feelings and who is fully capable of bearing them.

Experiencing grief is not a sign of weak faith, nor is feeling daily grief.

The Gospel Turn unfolds in two movements. The first is honest lament—expressing our deepest pains and disappointments. The second is turning toward the gospel itself: toward what Jesus has accomplished, what He speaks to us through His Word, and what He whispers when we pause to listen.

Consider that before Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, He took the time to weep. Jesus mourned genuinely, despite knowing He was about to perform a miracle. He didn’t dismiss the grief of Lazarus' family by rushing to comfort them with the promise of resurrection. Instead, He grieved alongside them, modeling for us the necessity of true lament.

We aren't called to hurry through our grief in a show of faith. Authentic faith isn't measured by how quickly we overcome sorrow, but rather in trusting the One who gently invites us to rest in Him throughout the entirety of our grieving process.